The 10 Most Colorful Quotes Of 2015

Tuck ’97 MBA, former Facebook exec, and comedian Paul Ollinger

Dull topics mean dull commentary. But the world of business school education is rarely dull, and discussions about events, issues, and people within the ecosystem hit highs and lows that might surprise people not familiar with the high-stakes environment of the top B-schools. When matters matter, people often speak their minds. This year, students, grads, professors, admissions consultants, and even one dean deployed language and ideas that stood out amid the near-constant stream of colorful statements emanating from the world’s B-schools.

In our list of the most striking quotes that appeared in our pages in 2015, you’ll find a couple of clever takedowns (one professor, one group of students); a reference to an infamous genocidal maniac; a sad-sack lament from a beleaguered Harvard Business School pupil; some possibly idle but still-chilling threats; wry opinions from admissions consultants; and, of course, some immortal words from Stanford Graduate School of Business Dean Garth Saloner.

Wharton Prof Ripped For Allegedly Fraudulent Hipness

Wharton prof Michael Sinkinson

At 31, Wharton managerial economics professor Michael Sinkinson is often mistaken for an MBA student. Essentially of the same generation as many of his students, Sinkinson strives to link his teaching to students’ milieu, for example by having them analyze the business model of music-streaming service Spotify (on which, it should be noted, can be heard the music of pop star Ariana Grande). Sinkinson’s pedagogical tendency, however, opened him up to a probably tongue-in-cheek attack by a student in a faculty review: “Prof. Sinkinson acts all down with pop culture,” the student wrote, “but secretly thinks Ariana Grande is a font in Microsoft Word.” Sinkinson, generally described by students as engaging, read the critique at the Wharton Follies.

Business Insider Führer furor coming?

Nudes! Nudes! Nudes! But Not Till Later

Promises, promises. Dartmouth ’97 MBA Paul Ollinger, a comedian, claims to be writing a book called “You Should Totally Get an MBA: The Comedian’s Guide to Top Tier Business Schools.” In this purported publication, he says, we will find school reviews, interview advice, and “ridiculous amounts of nudity.” We were about to offer to do the photo editing for his book, then we read the next line: “Okay, maybe not so much nudity. Maybe in the sequel.” Ollinger, a former Facebook exec and ex-president of Shift, an ad-tech firm sold in May for $50 million to Brand Networks, publishes a comedic blog called Banner Ad Confidential. Of particular note on the blog are Ollinger’s doubtlessly spot-on predictions for the tech industry this year – although Business Insider has not yet, as foreseen by Ollinger, run a slideshow of “12 Geometry Teachers Who Look Like Hitler,” but they still have time before the New Year.‘Hey, Look At Me!’ Splat.

Grant didn’t want his last name in print. And it’s not surprising. The young man had publicly humiliated himself, by blogging intensively and enthusiastically on his site “Grant Me Admission” about his quest to enter an elite MBA program. But then he didn’t get into any of the five schools he’d applied to. “I was like, ‘Hey, I’m going to lead the charge, and everyone follow me,’ and then I, like, tripped,” Grant says. In the aftermath, Grant beat himself up – his story provides a great primer on some dos and don’ts in the B-school admissions game.

There Will Be Blood

Stanford GSB Dean Garth Saloner and professor Deborah Gruenfeld

The sex scandal Poets&Quants revealed at the Stanford Graduate School of Business became world-wide news, thanks to the school’s apex stature and the plethora of lurid revelations about the affair between the school’s dean and a professor married to another professor. Court filings in a lawsuit by former GSB professor Jim Phills, married to professor Deborah Gruenfeld, against Dean Garth Saloner contained copies of numerous email and social media conversations between the dean and his paramour. These were full of the giddy, lovey-dovey schmaltz typical of an early-stage relationship, but the discussions contained more sinister words, including an evocative statement by Saloner in response to a comment by Gruenfeld about how to deal with her husband: “Knife. Penis. Town Square. Got it.”

Oh, You Poor, Poor Thing!

Harvard Business School Baker Library

Appropriately, in surveying whether Harvard Business School students were “promoters” or “detractors” of the school, HBS newspaper The Harbus used a process developed by Bain & Co. consulting. The results were a little surprising: the survey said HBS students were about as likely to recommend the school to a friend or colleague as Walgreen’s workers were to recommend the drug chain as an employer. Still, respondents had plenty of good things to say about the school and MBA program. Among the critics, according to Poets&Quants‘ story on the survey, was one sad sack who appears to have experienced HBS as one would experience getting hit by a series of buses. “I think HBS pushed me too hard and I went through a phase of high anxiety and depression,” the student writes. “The second I see light at the end of the tunnel, they throw something else at me. HBS pushed me too hard.”

Entrepreneurs May Not Need Everything an MBA Confers

Stewart Thornhill of Michigan’s Ross School of Business

It’s no secret that entrepreneurship is the biggest mania in today’s MBA programs. Across the land, students are clamoring for – and receiving – more startup-related programming. And, as is evident from our story on this year’s top 100 MBA startups, many students are parlaying their MBA education into successful new enterprises. But here comes Stewart Thornhill, executive director of the University of Michigan Ross School of Business Lurie Institute for Entrepreneurial Studies, with a big bucket of water to throw on the party. The MBA education, Thornhill suggests, may be superfluous for many would-be entrepreneurs. “Yes, the MBA really helps with the practical side of running a business, like understanding how a business works from marketing issues to people issues to financial issues,” Thornhill says. “But you can learn all of that if you are a voracious reader with an internet connection.” However, Thornhill is not dismissing the value of an MBA for entrepreneurs. “The other part is the network and pedigree. Walking into an investor pitch with an MBA attached to your name gives you credentials from the beginning.”

HBS, GSB, or Tahiti?

HBSGuru Founder Sandy Kreisberg

More MBA applicants admitted by both the Stanford GSB and Harvard Business School choose Stanford. In explaining why, Poets&Quants‘ editor-in-chief John Byrne sought insights from five admissions consultants, including Sandy Kreisberg, founder of HBSGuru and a Poets&Quants contributor. “Harvard hates losing,” Kreisberg asserted, suggesting that the school’s losses to its West Coast competitor had spurred it to obsess over entrepreneurship, and flood the market with scholarship cash. But Kreisberg also speculated – with dirt dealt to both sides – that some admits were just taking an easier route to an elite MBA. “Harvard is a vacation where you have to dress up for three hours a day,” Kreisberg quips. “Stanford is a total two-year vacation.”

Better Listen To Your Betters

Steve Blank, “lean startup” pioneer

Sometimes, MBA students need a kick in the pants. That was the thinking behind a cleverly orchestrated maneuver by U.C. Berkeley Haas School of Business entrepreneurship instructors to improve the performance of one student team. The takedown went down in “lean startup” pioneer Steve Blank’s Lean LaunchPad course, in which teams of students use the lean methodology to create products. One team was showing reluctance to adopt the wisdom put forth by the instructors. Blank watched, and waited, then spoke: “I’m about to throw you out of the class and you’re going to fail,” Blank pronounced. “Your body language and your interaction is not conducive to learning. Why don’t you sit down and then we’re going to decide what we’re going to do next.” Crushed, the students returned to their seats. The instructors later revealed to Poets&Quants that they’d planning the whole thing to light a fire below the under-performing team. And it worked.

There Will Be Blood, Redux

Northwestern University Kellogg School of Management

Shocking allegations came out of the Northwestern University Kellogg School of Management’s master’s program in management studies this fall. Surprising enough were the claims by students that they had seen six students cheating on each of two final exams, and that the school had assigned a biased student investigator to probe the accusations. But the alleged responses by a couple of the accused cheaters went beyond scandalous into the downright menacing: “The day I come to know who reported me, I will fucking kill him or her,” one student is reported to have said in a phone call to a peer. Another student, in another call, reportedly said, “If we get caught, there will be blood everywhere. We will involve a lot of people in this drama and blame innocent people. Don’t mess with us.” Kellogg refused to say whether there was an investigation going on into the alleged cheating. If there is, according to school policy the results won’t be made public till next fall – when the students will be long gone, and any cheaters will likely have already been hired.

U.S. B-Schools ‘Pandering’ to Applicants?

Adam Hoff, Amerasia Consulting

Ask admissions consultants which business schools attract the best MBA candidates and they’ll generally tell you the top three are Harvard Business School, the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and the University of Pennsylvania Wharton School. But likely, a consultant will then throw in a European school close on the heels of the big three for attracting talent. Poets&Quants surveyed 50 admissions-consulting firms, and received 35 responses. Which European school did the firms tend to throw in up high in their ranking of who’s winning the MBA talent wars? INSEAD. Why? Well, says Adam Hoff, a principal with Amerasia Consulting Group, “The school gets better candidates by asking them to complete a tough application process. You get what you pay for. U.S. schools would be wise to stop pandering to this supposed Twitter generation and go back to tougher apps. They will not only get a better sense of what they have, but they will be signaling that getting into their school is no joke.”

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